10:03 AM – EST
Darling Coffee Shop - Inwood
New York, New York
What is this unsettling sensation I feel from time to time when I put pen to paper, finger to keyboard, pic to post that nobody will care? And maybe they won’t but who are these supposed “people” anyway? And do they not wrestle with the same hang-ups and apprehensions about sharing their own deeply personal interpretations of life as I do? I don’t know.
But one covenant I made with myself long ago whether I realized it or not was to NEVER be afraid of life. With that declaration comes profound responsibility and even a recklessness of spirit. I’ll just keep putting stuff out there into the world and hope it resonates with you. If it does, awesome. If it doesn’t, that’s okay too.
I’m going to board a plane in a few short hours headed to Amman, Jordan. I’ll spend nearly two weeks in the country known to many westerners for its backdrop in the film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Afterwards I’m off to Israel for a wedding and following that I really have no clue.
I can’t say exactly what it is I hope to find. Perhaps I’ve already found it and am simply taking it along to be refined, or varnished. I’ll have to let you know once I get there.
My heart goes through the same patter each time I head to some foreign land, some I’ve been to before, others that have people asking, “Why there?” I suppose it’s the true sensation of being fully alive that I feel without having to work so hard or resort to incantations or affirmations. I am truly headed for adventure. What a remarkable feeling though, one that I’m convinced would lead to self-implosion if you felt it all the time.
Still, it’s pretty damn great when you feel it. And it can come from much more than a stamped passport. I suppose we just need to look a little bit harder. See you in Jordan.
Today was the first day I asked a stranger for the best advice he’d ever received. His name was Eric and I guessed him to be in his mid-20s. He was coincidentally from my native Oakland. Here’s what he said about the best insight he ever received, which ended up being about writing. Still, it felt strangely applicable to much more: “Getting out of my own way. I will set a timer for 10 minutes and just free write. Whatever comes to mind and let your head clear out. Write on paper and let it flow.”
